A lot has been on my mind lately. I'm sort of on a quest to figure out who I am. What makes you unique? When people look at you do they see you as an individual? I am constantly thinking. Sometimes I don't always think things all the way through and wind up hurting the people that I love the most. What attracts people to others? Is it your personality or your looks? We spend our entire lives looking for that special person and when you find that special person you find yourself asking other questions, like what if this wasn't the right person? What if I made a mistake? I think that there are many people you could be compatible enough with. I'm not quite sure there is this one special person out there for you. Sometimes I get really tired of people. It's just like what is the point? Most of the people you know now are gonna pass through your life and you will move on to meet new people. Society in general is very superficial. It's never about the person inside. You have to make sure you look good, buy all the right clothes, hang out with the right people or you're just screwed. What creates emotions? Do we just think that we feel something? Where do they come from? When we say we have a broken heart, we lie. Our hearts aren't broken otherwise we would be dead. We just hurt so badly. If we told ourselves that it didn't hurt, would we feel differently? I have come to the point where I just don't want to be close to anyone. People let you down. You care for someone and then your heart gets ripped out. Sometimes it's your family that hurts you. A lot of the time I think that no one hears me. When I talk to people, it's like I'm talking to myself. Maybe sometimes that is what we need to do. If I don't get close to anyone then I can't get hurt. But then again I think what would life be like if I did that? If I didn't give people a chance, where would the danger be? It's the thrill. If you couldn't trust anyone life would be miserable. It would be so hard to go through life alone. You have to realize that there are people that care about you more than you think and if you let them they can make life worth living. I want someone who can open my eyes to new experiences every day. All my life I have wanted to go to London, England. I have loved everything about it. The history behind that city fascinates me so much and the accents, wow! I feel like that dream is just fading away. I don't want to go alone though. I want the most important person in my life to go with me. I have always dreamed of sharing that part of me with that one special person where ever he may be. I think that is the one thing that no one can take. My family has always told me that I would never make it and that I couldn't do it and I don't care how long it takes I will prove them wrong. I've always thought that when I finally do get to go over there that something important event is going to take place in my life. What would life be without dreams? Do all dreams come true? Maybe some of them are meant to stay dreams, I don't know. I want someone who can share that dream with me. To see how much passion I have for the things I love. I want someone who will let me love them with as much passion as I have for London. Sometimes I think that I am living in a dream, a nightmare more often then not. I feel like I can't wake up. Since I was 16 everytime I drove home I just wanted to pass my road and just go until I was to tired to go anymore. I just wanted away from everyone. Start a new life where not many or no one would know me. That way I could be seen as an individual I wouldn't have to think about others. I could just think about myself. If it were just that easy. But once again I'm living in a dream. I often regret not telling everything to people I care about. It's like the moment passes and then it's just gone. If I could rewind my life there are so many things I would do differently. But you can' t do that. I guess God has his reasons why things are the way they are but then again you have to think God gave us free will. He knows everything. He knows the options you have and the consequences to either. You make your own experiences. I'm gonna start making mine right now. Thanks for letting me getting all that off my chest.